Sunday, January 4, 2009

Splorf Goes the Willpower

Splorf: (v., adv.) 1. a gelatinous movement, an oozing 2. one way to move a piece in Andy's Secret Project PD-09 3. a completely made up word, propagated by silly bears.

Splorf goes the diet. The diet only consisted of a) not eating crappy food and b) not eating before bed. Something about the end of the year, the excessive partying, or simply my own lack of will has led me to break both rules. Late late, too late last night, with one stiff martini in me, I drove up to the 24-hour McDonald's. It's been a LONG time since I had a Big Mac, and MAN that shit was good. What do they put in there? It's ridiculous, really, how they have me by the short hairs.

So I'm trying not to totally crucify myself about it, while also not completely letting myself off the hook. Great mental exercise. I err on the side of "whatev'." Not good.

I was just getting moving, really, on the whole "know the body" routine. I'm still on the edge of the zone. I can feel my legs rebel when I sit in this one position on the sofa for too long... the one I'm in right now, tippy-typing away. But I'm also cramping in my calves and in my feet. I haven't gone to the gym as often as I should have. I've been slacking, sitting at home on the sofa, eating cheese (as Grandmaster says). I've been watching T.V., being bored, being comfortably numb.

The upside of my late night escapades last night was going to the 24-hour Giant to buy groceries. Just a little food in the house makes a compelling argument for not ordering delivery Chinese. (The delivery food is always a little bit of a let down, too. Strange that. It used to make me so happy.) So I got some chicken breasts... and I caved and got a 12 pack of Coke Zero. Bad. But no doughnuts. Good! No ice cream. Very good.

Gotta get my head back into the zone. Remember WHY. Yes, why. Why bother trying? Not just for the annoyance of baggy underpants. Not just for the benefit of fitting into the skinny clothes again. Because I DESERVE it. I deserve to have an excellent body, taking me around in this lifetime. I should take care of it, try to keep it running. Ease the stress on it. Love it.


  1. I am sitting here reading this...EATING VELVEETA. Even the dog is looking at me like, Whoa, SERIOUSLY? You couldn't go with a nice Gouda?

    Your diet sounds like my diet.

  2. McDonalds should sell baggy underpants. Would be a huge timesaver.

  3. Hey! I cleaned velveeta out of my oven this weekend (I made au gratin potatoes xmas eve using my mom's old recipe and spilled the damn stuff in the oven).

    Be gentle with yourself.