Finals, Fury, Fear

Okay, so I took my Hebrew final. I didn't do nearly as well as I wanted to. I've been trying to keep a stiff upper lip about it, but the truth is I'm pissed. I did well on the oral exam; she told me right away it was a 92. That's kinda low. I am hoping I got at least an 85 on the final. The vocabulary from the last two lessons just weren't totally in my head. Rocked the verbal part though... I guess I should be happy about that.

Okay, then there's the truck. The engine light has been on for months. Today, on the way to class it started to smell differently. On the way home the amber "check engine" flashed and the temperature gauge was all over the place... very low to mid-range, back and forth. That can't be good.

So I go home. I debate going out tonight, even though it's poker night. I debate going to martial arts class (and didn't go). I tried to pay my Verizon bill. For some reason, I'm $90 behind ever since I moved, even though it's in my automatic payments. So the phone doesn't work... thank G-d the Internet still does. I tried EIGHT times to try and pay it, both through their phone prompt system which rang busy all day today, and with their website. WHY must they make it so difficult? I don't think I paid it yet.

I was overcome with anger. Rage. Blinding. I screamed, deep, throaty, and wild. Scared the piss outta my cat. And I tried, really hard, to not want to break something, kick something, throw something. I bent my head, knuckles to the center of my forehead, motionless. Overwhelmed, I started to cry.

Been weepy ever since.